Book Notes for Ghost Rider by Neil Peart
Just finished Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road by Neil Peart (late, iconic drummer of the prog rock band Rush). I read this book in a hybrid way: first by starting the eBook, then bought a used copy on eBay (cheap, but it smelled like cigarettes), then cycled reading/ listening on Audible (that way I made constant progress).
After the unexpected deaths of his 19 year-old daughter and his wife in less than a year, Neil was alone. Having to pick up the pieces of his life, he decided to pack is BMW GS motorcycle and ride all over North America. It’s part travelogue, part journals and letters documenting his healing journey.
This is the second book I have recently finished written by one of my favorite drummers. The first was Brothers by Alex Van Halen (I haven’t written my notes for this one yet). Very different reads. Both were reflective, philosophical. Getting down to the nuts and bolts of life. Drumming possesses the same kind of physics in a band. it’s the skeleton, elemental.
My notes aren’t in any kind of order. They are just what came to mind as I was reading. I did some light editing and made some additional after-thoughts, to provide some more cohesion.
The Notes:
-his views on being disappointed with himself when a performance doesn’t go right, but when it does go right it's just “normal”. Typical of a high achiever with high standards. Considering his masterful performance as a drummer, this isn’t a mystery. The guy was a wizard, “The Professor”.
favorite Christmas album is charlie brown. mine too.
started riding motos later in life. Me too (late 30's).
reads and writes a lot. found myself thinking about when i was a kid, idolized him. maybe he's one of the reasons I like to read and write and play drums, ride motos? maybe i emulated him. dunno, doesn't really matter. they are good things. “"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought" -Japanese poet Matsuo Bashō”.
his ability to take care of himself. to find the need and the courage to do so. he knows the body can make the mind bend the knee. had to reinvent who and why he was. he used the third person trick, by creating his "little baby soul" and taking care of it and himself. Keen awareness of not slipping into a hole of despair. Split from himself after the tragedies, referred to himself as the “guy before” or the “other guy”. Had to rebuild his self from the ground up. Had a few different personas he created: ghost rider (vagabond, traveler, gypsy); Ellwood (the Hollywood playboy); John Ellwood Taylor (the sad bluesman and introvert); and Gaia (14 year old “inner girl” which loved romanticism, boy band pop music). Making these personas helped him to view himself from the outside and further assist in his healing.
Allows himself to process grief without wallowing and losing himself in it. Keeps the mind and body busy.
Persistence in steering away his thoughts from grief and despair.
using nature to heal his soul. Nature is the great equalizer. “chaos is the law of nature, order is the dream of man”. He accessed the chaos to make a sort of spiritual order of his mind and heart.
the accrual of miles as a metric for healing. on the road you have nothing but silence, your mind wanders. but you still have to pay attention so you don’t die.
vox clamantis in deserto - a voice crying in the wilderness
he has written some "take care of yourself" directives, starting on page 258 (Chapter called Winterlude):
- Keep moving. physically and mentally. just don't stop. if you're moving, you're alive.
- kick your own ass gently: basically make small goals for yourself. write. socialize. write letters. make phone calls. work out. build something.
- allow others the pleasure of helpings you (self-evident, though not easy when you try to be an independent person).
- the replay syndrome: when circling, intrusive thoughts come up, try to stop it. get up, move around, literally tell yourself "fuck off". move your thoughts elsewhere, redirect energy.
- make peace with others where you can; and with yourself, and with God, and the universe. Won’t always happen, but at least you give it a go.
Obsessing over things. gets mad at himself when, even the first time doing it, he’s not good at it. but when he finds a new hobby, he’s all-in.
Quote: “success is not the result of spontaneous combustion; you must set yourself on fire" Reggie Leach
Change: Rick Roll (YT Short). It’s all about reps. All comes down to reps. Reps reps reps until something happens. Then more reps. Everything is reps.
watch greasy hands preachers again (documentary about the revival of manual work through motorcycles)
quote I liked: "at that point in my odyssey, all that mattered to me was to feel that i was still moving forward, still willing to try, still finding the strength to face the shadows and the ghosts, every morning and every night, on the Healing Road. still believing that "something will come up".”
thought occurred to me: when life is giving you a rough go at it, do things on purpose to give a rough go back at life. like riding a moto. Extensive, grueling travel but not in nice hotels. live well beneath your means. find ways to get into the natural world and out of your head. other things Neil did was bird watching, learning about different plants and fauna. Those things certainly get you out of your head and into your surroundings. Hiking, physical training, writing. slow down your mind. yoga. finding meaningful ways to spend your time. getting busy in your own survival, not waiting for something to happen to you. this is what strikes me as remarkable in Neil.
There's a lot of song names from later rush albums. Vapor trails. Ghost rider. I saw Neil play a concert with Rush around 2002 in Atlanta, just four years after these tragedies.
Getting used to cycles of depression and anxiety, as a new normal. not wish it were something else. Just embrace it and move along. we medicalize a normal human feeling instead of developing a more constructive relationship to and understanding of it.
Treating drumming as therapy. I do the same. (recently came across the works of the psychoanalyst Otto Rank. his research in neuroticism and artistic/creative people showed that if you have creative tendencies and don’t create, it will make you feel horrible and sick. Probably the basis for Steven Pressfield’s War of Art).
reinvented his drumming after playing for 30 years, studying under Freddie Gruber. that's about as long as i have been playing. (Man, I’m behind).
Cest vaut la peine: it's worth the trouble.
Another thing: Similar to Haruki Murakami, Peart keeps himself physically active. Always finding different ways to keep his body and mind sharp no matter the season. Snowshoeing and skiing in the winter. Hiking rowing and bicycling in the summer. Of course the moto. He's keeping his mind busy. “ get busy with your own rescue- if you care for yourself at all – and do it while you can” – Marcus Aurelius
Kept a watchful eye on himself.
from the Daily Stoic 9 September: the things we fear pale in comparison to the damage we do to ourselves and others when we unthinkingly scramble to avoid them.
i keep a schedule of my favorite drummer's birthdays, and i celebrate them by listing to their music that day. Neil's is 12 September (two days from now, at the time of this writing).
amazing to see how his brain works. how we do anything is how we do everything. he doesn't half-ass anything. i get that.
".. and fog crawling up from the sea in moving shapes, like ghosts". SUPERB writing.
another takeaway from the novel: the amount of work he required of himself in order to combat against his negative state. every day he made sure he earned it. this didn’t work always, but it definitely wouldn’t have worked had he not put in the physical work. this could mean: riding long ways (upwards sometimes of 500 miles per day. for those who ride, this is hard on the body. and he would do this days on days); hiking, rowing, snowshoeing, cycling. this has benefited me in my own life. for sometimes when i am too idle i become angry, ornery, lethargic, and i see it seeping into the emotional cracks of my relationships (even the one I have with myself, probably most important). his was a good example of disciplining his body in order to tame his mind. i am taking that lesson into my own life. Mind, body, soul are all connected.
Being a friend to yourself. Taking care of yourself. Demanding the best for yourself. Giving yourself gifts, like great food, great friends, sublime experiences. Taking care of your body and your things. Keeping a journal. Allowing yourself to feel deep feelings (even when, and especially when it hurts).